My dad passed away a few years ago. It was as hard as you might imagine even though his quality of life had plummeted and there was some mercy in his passing. Losing a parent is never easy I think. Good or bad they have a formative hand in the shaping of us and their loss is noted whether in one emotional way or another. I’d post a picture but I’m away from my drive where I keep all of my pictures so maybe next year.
As my kids have grown I’ve come to realize that even though at first I felt like I was the epicenter of their universe (and I was and still can be sometimes) they need my SO. We are the basket that catches them when they fall, when my basket isn’t strong enough. My SO is the calm resolute voice and I watch as they respond to that in a positive way. That’s not to say my SO’s perfect, far from it, but they are present and consistent and loving and trying. Not all kids are so lucky to have two parents like this, I know that.
These days that celebrate the mother or father or other family member get me thinking about the make up of a family. To me a family is a family regardless of make up so long as it’s steeped in love and acceptance and patience and all the other good things. After having kids, this acceptance of what a family should look like was cemented. A family should look like a basket of love and trust and effort, never perfect, but always trying. Gender or sexuality or race has nothing to do with it. Prejudice against the make up of a family is the battle cry of an ignorant and endangered species. Thank goodness they are one foot out the door.
So Happy Father’s Days to all of the devoted, loving, selfless, heroic, flawed fathers/parents whoever you are. Have a well deserved day of indulgence.