It’s hard letting things go sometimes. There exist those people who can press all of your buttons all at the same time, my kids for example. I hate when I lose it so to speak.
I did recently and I’m not proud. The gory details don’t matter my reaction does. I could have and should have done better. This person lives in an extreme and I know this so that makes it my responsibility to navigate the waters until I find a calm. I was doing so until they pushed one more time, on a bad day, when I lacked the ability to seal my lips.
I always blame my spanish-ness when these things happen but it is really only my nature. I’m a fighter, a take no crap, no nonsense, sometimes blindly dogmatic noise hater. This nature got the better of me.
I have an exercise whenever I am so spitting angry I write out my response and then don’t send it. I walk away exercise, cook, do tasks I should be doing, do anything but respond. Usually after a decent interval I can come back laugh at my rage filled response, delete it and write an appropriate response. This time I didn’t follow my own rules.
I guess you have to break your rules every now and then to remind yourself that they are worthwhile. My reminder is fresh and fills me with some shame but fuels me to not get back to this place again when all I needed to do was take a minute and walk away.
