We recently got rid of traditional cable. We’re using a combo of YouTube TV and a Firestick now and I may never use my TV again. I realize I’m prez at a technology company but I’m pretty old school. Just because I ‘get’ technology and how to employ it in the modern age doesn’t mean I still wasn’t meant to be born about 150-250 years ago. Because really I was.
The hardest hit to my already limited TV watching is the loss of the Hallmark Channel. I will miss the absurd love movies so clean and unrealistic they make Barbies look deep and insightful. They are a national gem.
Take one of the ones I watched over the Christmas holiday season. It starred the Full House lady where she took a train from Boston to a town about an hour out of Boston to start a new job, mind you. Only the train broke down for the night (something the equivalent of the LIRR stopping service for longer than the hot minute any commuter would tolerate for them to get it up and running again) and they put up all the passengers at a bed and breakfast, all of them.
Shenanigans ensued. The witty store keeper, the kindly random lady, the cute kids, the hot but not too hot to be intimidating, a little rough around the edges but not too rough, down to earth but still comfortably financially secure babe dude guy. Within a week she had decided to stay at that town, found an equivalent job, fell in love AND adopted a child. Great Scott, now this is TV.
I get IT for those of you in the Uber cool so enlightened crowd, I do get it. But somewhere between youth and old age I became unenlightened. And I kinda like it here. It’s the easy part of my day and I’m not questioning these enjoyments anymore nor am I hiding in shame from them, sticking them in a dark closet so no one else might know my guilty pleasures.
For now though, they are taken from me, much like a Liam Neesen movie. Maybe he’ll come help me recover them, one can only hope. Maybe I’ll write a screenplay for one just to get my fix, not a bad idea there. So you may see me staring through neighborhood windows in search of my cornball fix. If you do and invite me in I might make my world renown 1,000 calorie hot chocolate and we might have a binge marathon and it might be glorious. Just saying.